Left to my own devices

as I see around, I am enveloped by darkness
darkness has its own demerits,
people fear it because it holds the unknown
people avoid darkness, as it may lead them to the sadness
or rather the sadness that someone may pass on to them

once in your life - surrounded by people who rush to talk to you
the present moment, the yearning for a call persists
you gaze at your phone with anxious looks, pick it up
and realize it was all but just an imaginary tone in your mind
the bane of urban loneliness as people may candidly call it

then comes the time
when tears freeze and fears rise
the eyes say it all and the heart cries
words pour out but arent heard no doubt

the mind plays strange games and thoughts play havoc
anxiety shrouds itself into the nerves and results in numbness

further contradictions and the body resists movement
the mind refrains from speech
silence remains . . . .

Is there an end to the mounting agony ?
I'm but .... Left to my own devices ....